


Should I Stay Or Should I Go

by hpd_lance



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, its fluff, plain and simple, this is just, why do I do these things to myself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 20:50:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3583545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpd_lance/pseuds/hpd_lance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, John's foster father is a douche. Karkat Vantas, being a generous (albeit grouchy) best friend, lets John stay. Things get complicated from that point on as a woman (claiming to be John's biological mother) shows up. She offers John a choice; Stay, or go with her to her glamorous new life in Hollywood, where he'd never want for anything.</p><p>I JUST REALIZED THIS IS SO MUCH LIKE ANOTHER FIC I READ AND I RECOMMEND THAT YOU READ IT INSTEAD</p><p>It's called Drama Queen by Bananaramses and I feel really bad cuz it's kind of like I'm copying their work</p><p>shiiiiittttt</p><p>So yeah<br/>Sorry if it seems like I'm copying them I think I'm going to not copy them so much</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When John Met Karkat

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, none of this makes sense but whatever. It's fluffy and I have just a shred of dignity left that I'd like to get rid of.

It was a rainy night in the middle of April, not particularly cold, but John was shivering nonetheless. He was alone, wet, and frankly, terrified. He wished he had somewhere to go instead of hiding in the alleyway between two buildings.  
He fumbled getting his phone out of his pocket, finding the number he wanted, and sending a text.

_I know it's late, but I just got kicked out and I need somewhere to go. Do you live near Seattle?_

He waited for a reply, not expecting anything, but still hopeful. A few seconds later, his phone vibrated, the _Ghostbusters_ theme playing. Somebody was calling him. His heart skipped a beat as he read the name, sliding his finger across the answer button.  
"Hello?" He said into the mouthpiece.  
"Where are you." It was a statement, not a question.  
"I... I'm not sure." He replied, glancing at the signs hanging above the storefronts.  
"Damn it, Egbert, you're really going to have to give me a location if you want me to come get you."  
"Karkat you don't have to- I'll walk if you-"  
"No. Fucking hell no. You could get attacked. Or killed. They'd dump your body in the nearest river and you wouldn't be found. Ever. I'm coming to you." John heard a car starting over the phone.  
"No you don't have to-"  
"Just tell me where the fuck you are."  
"I'm in an alleyway across the street from the closest McDonalds to the Space Needle. I'd be inside the McDonalds but... I'm kind of bleeding and soaking wet."  
"What? Just- Go _inside_ the fucking McDonalds, I know where that is, I'll meet you there. Why are you bleeding?"  
John paused, "Well... You know how I was staying in a foster home after... well anyway, the guy was kind of drunk and kind of angry, so he kind of punched me in the face and in my ribs and my arm hurts..... he literally kicked me out of the door. I mean, I guess since I'm nineteen... but yeah. My day was shitty since he got home."  
"Oh... Oh John..." The voice faltered on the other end.  
"I'm fine though. I just... I need somewhere to go for now, that's all."  
There was silence. John pulled the hood of his jacket over his head, jogging across the street and pushing the door of the McDonalds open. He looked around uneasily and walked to the mens' bathroom.  
"You still there?" He jumped, he'd forgotten about his friend on the other end of the phone.  
"Yeah. I'm in the McDonalds."  
"Alright. I'll be there in a few minutes. Just stay right there."  
"Okay. I'm in the mens' room."  
John grabbed some paper towels from the dispenser next to the sink, waved his hand under the automatic sink, and wet the paper towels. He dabbed at the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. Ew. It tasted coppery. He was tempted to go out into the dining area and ask for a cup of water, but he wasn't sure if it was free.  
"Okay, I'm here. Do you want me to get you something to drink or...?"  
"No, just... actually, could you ask for some water? I don't want to go out there, my mouth is kind of... filled with blood and well, it ain't looking pretty."  
"'Kay. I'll be with you in a sec. I'm gonna hang up."  
"Okay." John heard the telltale boop of his phone hanging up. He pressed the lock button and pocketed it, placing both hands on the sink.  
His head hung, staring at the spout. He looked up into the mirror. He had a black eye. Great.  
He took off his hoodie, which was soaking wet with rain, and admittedly a few tears. He examined the large bruises on his bicep and forearm where his foster father had grabbed him. He poked one. Bad idea. Pain shot up his arm. He tried wiggling his fingers, but that hurt even more. Why him. Why was he the one kid in the entire foster care system to be placed into an abusive home. He sighed. At least he could get out now.  
The door to the bathroom swung open, and there stood Karkat Vantas in all his albino glory.


	2. Karkat's The Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I may or may not have referenced She's The Man in the chapter title ~~~~~~
> 
> ~~I think  
>  I think I will make all of the chapters named after romcoms~~

Karkat was terrified the moment he hung up with John. He wasn't terrified of John per-say, but he was terrified of the woman behind the counter who gave him a stern look when he paid with a twenty for just a large tea- which was only a dollar- and a cup of water- which was free.  
"Thanks." Was all he'd said when she'd handed him the cup.  
He'd quickly filled the water cup and his tea- who needs ice? Certainly not Karkat- and made his way into the bathroom.  
He wasn't sure what he'd expected when he saw John for the first time in his life. He sure wasn't expecting tanned skin and a somewhat muscular guy. He for sure wasn't expecting him to be so _tall ___. The guy was probably six feet at least.  
He looked up at Karkat and _dear lord almighty ___his eyes were the bluest blue Karkat had ever seen. he was tempted to laugh, but given the seriousness of John's situation, Karkat kept his mouth shut.  
John, however, laughed. "Wow," he said. "You're kind of... short."  
Karkat frowned. Well, yeah, he was short, scrawny, and pale as fuck. Well, the pale skin he could explain, but the scrawny and short part? Yeah, he had no fucking clue where that came from. "Well yeah, what the fuck were you expecting? Some sort of muscular, not-pale-at-all giant?"  
"Well no, I mean, I was thinking you'd be taller, but..."  
Karkat rolled his eyes. "I got your water." He said, holding the cup out to John.  
"Thanks." John grabbed the cup out of his hand, took a swig, swished the water around in his mouth, and spat into the sink. He repeated this process until the water was gone and the blood stopped coming.  
"I'm so glad you exist, dude." John said, looking up at Karkat.  
 _Wow, ___Karkat thought. _His eyes are extremely blue. ___  
"I... really, I can't thank you enough."  
Karkat just nodded his head.  
"No really, I just-"  
"No need to get all sappy on me, Egbert. I didn't exactly get Slick's approval for you staying."  
"Oh."  
"He won't mind though, I've had friends come over on short notice before." Karkat could see John was terrified. "Do you wanna go now?"  
John nodded and put his hoodie back on.  
"C'mon." Karkat lead the way to his car, pressing the button on his keyring to unlock the door. He climbed into the driver seat, starting the car.  
"Thanks again." John said, curling up into a ball in the passenger seat.  
"Buckle up. It's going to take us half an hour to get to my place from here."  
John nodded, pulling the seatbelt across his lap and clicking it into place.  
They rode in silence for ten minutes and Karkat couldn't bear one more second of it. "So, the infamous John Egbert."  
John glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow. "What?"  
"Nothing. Just wondering what exactly I'm going to do with you. I mean, after all these years, we finally meet in person- albeit under less than pleasant circumstances- but still."  
John laughed. Karkat thought his laugh was fucking beautiful. Just. Wow.  
"I guess... if it's not too much to ask, could I take a shower?"  
"Yeah. I should have some pajamas you could wear. I don't have... I mean, I might have some underwear, but I don't know... I mean... nevermind." Best not get into _that ___conversation.  
John laughed again. Gosh, his laughter was so fucking _beautiful ___. It actually hurt that he had such a shit-for-brains foster dad.  
"Anyway. Yeah, you can take a shower."  
"Thanks."  
Karkat pulled into the driveway of his two-story, frankly under-impressive home. "Hop on out." He said, turning off the car and opening his door.  
"'Kay." John said, opening his door and stepping out.  
The two of them walked up to the front door. "Fair warning, Slick's girlfriend might be over. And... well, you'll see. Let's just say, I'm obviously adopted." Karkat said, pushing open the door.  
"Karkat Vantas! Where were you?! I was so worried, you could've been- who the fuck is this." A burly voice asked as soon as Karkat and John shut the door behind them.  
"Sorry, Slick, this is John Egbert, he's uh, he's my friend. His foster dad is an abusive asshole."  
Slick's face softened a little. "Oh, well, nice to meet you boy." He was about to reach out to shake John's hand, but Karkat shook his head, pointing at his arm and mouthing, 'He's hurt'. "Ah." Slick said, pulling his arm back.  
"So... We're just gonna go upstairs now." Karkat said.  
Slick nodded. He gave Karkat a look that clearly said, 'Behave.' Karkat nodded, _There ain't gonna be any frisky business tonight, Slick. I am ashamed you would even think that. ___He thought, even though Slick couldn't hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway yeah this just sort of happened????


	3. Along Came Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so basically  
> the only plot this really has  
> is getting ruined by my impatience and just
> 
> fuck everything

John thought it was funny, how tall- and frankly, _dark ___\- Slick was compared to Karkat. He still couldn't stop thinking _beep beep meow ___any time he thought or heard Karkat's name.  
Then again, Karkat was adopted, so Slick being so dark-skinned didn't really phase him.  
"So..." He began, not quite sure what to say.  
"Yeah?" Karkat said.  
Wow. These stairs sure were nice.  
"Egbert?"  
"Sorry. I was going to ask what exactly I'm supposed to do while I'm here. I don't want to overstep any boundaries."  
John could practically hear Karkat rolling his eyes. _Beep beep meow. ___  
"There's not a lot of rules. Just don't do anything that might make Slick want to stab you. He has a thing with knives."  
John made a mental note never to get on Slick's bad side. "So... I guess I'm sleeping on your couch?"  
Karkat scoffed, "Don't be fucking stupid. You're bunking in my room. I have an air matress with your name on it bud."  
John was surprised at Karkat's generosity. He might cry. Oh. Wait. He was already crying. When had that happened?  
"Are you fucking crying?"  
Yeah. Yeah he was crying.  
"Dear lord Egbert, what has that guy been doing to you?"  
John shrugged. "I... well it wasn't just him. His girlfriend was an ass too. She treated me like shit. He treated us both like shit. I almost felt sorry for her, until she hit me. She... I... I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say, she did some not nice stuff to me and I'm uncomfortable just talking about it."  
\--------------  
Karkat nearly fell backwards off the staircase at that last statement. He had an idea of what John meant, and it wasn't a good one. "Oh... John... I...I...."  
"It's fine. It wasn't your fault. I mean... It's not like... I just... she wasn't a nice woman. She was at first, I guess, but..."  
"You don't have to talk about it."  
"How long have we even been standing in your room?" John asked, quickly changing the subject.  
"I..." Good question. Karkat hadn't even noticed they'd walked into his room.  
John laughed, despite the fact that the weight of their previous conversation stull hung in the air.  
"Well just stand right there, I'll grab you a change of clothes and a towel." Karkat said, walking over to the dresser. He opened the drawer containing his pajama pants, and grabbed some he'd never actually worn because they were too big. Yeah. These'll fit John. They had little cartoonish crabs wearing hipster glasses on them. He didn't remember even buying these. Oh, right. They'd been a "gag" gift from Ampora. Well, good for Ampora, 'cause these bitches were finally useful.  
He grabbed a pair of underwear from one of his other drawers, along with a pair of socks, which he thought John might appreciate, given the fact that they were blue and fluffy. Technically, they weren't guys' socks, but Karkat didn't give a fuck, they were comfy as hell.  
He grabbed a shirt from his top drawer, not even looking at the image on the front. He shoved the clothes into John's hands, walked over to his bathroom (yeah, he had one of those cool bathrooms that connected to his room like a boss ass bitch), and grabbed a towel out of the cabinet, walking back out and shoving it into John's arms, on top of the clothes.  
"Thanks." John said.  
Karkat shrugged, "You'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?"  
John grinned and Karkat rolled his eyes, gently pushing John into the bathroom, "Take a fucking shower, you idiotic ground apple."  
"Ground apple?"  
"It's french for potato."  
\------------  
Thirty minutes later, John walked out of Karkat's bathroom, all buck-teeth and messy hair. He hadn't put his shirt on yet, and Karkat couldn't help but think he looked _so. Fucking. Hot. ___He almost didn't notice the large bruise on his left side, and when he pointed it out, John shrugged it off.  
"I doesn't really hurt. Well, it does, but not as much as the ones on my arm."  
Karkat took a moment to assess John's injuries.  
He had a large bruise on his side, his arm looked almost completely purple, and he had a black eye.  
Karkat was officially 1) worried, and 2) angry. He was angry at John's foster dad, he was angry at said foster dad's girlfriend, he was angry at the entire foster care system for putting his best friend through this.  
"What's that look for?"  
Karkat realized he'd been frowning.  
"I'm going to murder that guy. And his girlfriend. Hell, I'll murder the entire fucking United States government. You didn't deserve this."  
"Karkat you really shouldn't think like that. I don't have to go back anyway, I'm nineteen for god's sake."  
"I know, but I just... I don't know. Somebody needs to do something about him."  
"I was planning on calling the cops, but... he just scares me so much, man. He's huge! The guy's a fucking tank."  
Karkat wasn't at all reassured. "Call the fucking cops. Right now."  
"I will! I just... I don't want him coming after me and I really don't want to go to court. I hate courtrooms. They scare me."  
Karkat could understand why he hated courtrooms. Karkat was an orphan too, and he had no desire to go back to one.  
John just sighed and pulled the shirt on over his head.  
Karkat hadn't looked at the shirt before he handed it to John, and he busted out laughing, despite having just had a very serious conversation. Karkat had given John his bright red shirt that said, "Hello My Name Is: Fuck You", which to anybody else wouldn't have been funny, but it looked so stupid on John. It was just the tiniest bit too short and if John lifted his arms, Karkat could see almost his entire stomach.  
John looked down at the shirt, which with his arms down, only barely reached his belly button. He chuckled a bit, then he started laughing harder, "Maybe I need a different shirt?" John asked, lifting his arms.  
Karkat was giggling like a little girl as he walked over to his dresser and snatched a plain white tee out of it. "Try that one."  
\------  
As John was changing his shirt, he got his first real good look around Karkat's room, and at Karkat.  
Karkat's room was practically spotless, except for a few dark stains on the already dark grey walls.  
Karkat himself wasn't at all neat or tidy looking, but he was nice to look at. John wasn't really all that surprised that he was albino, and not at all surprised that he'd dyed his hair black. Could he even do that? Wouldn't it damage his hair somehow?  
He was kind of adorable, with his button nose and light sprinkling of freckles that you wouldn't have noticed were there if you weren't looking. _Wow. ___John thought. _He's so.... wow ___  
"Are you done gawking at me like a stunned little girl, Egbert? Honestly it's like you've never seen another fucking human being before." Even his voice was adorable.  
Suddenly, John had the overwhelming urge to protect him from all the bad things in life... except, John wasn't really all that good at protecting anything.  
"Earth to Egbert? Hello?"  
John snapped out of his thoughts and blinked.  
"And he's back in the land of the living!" Karkat made cheering noises, cupping his hands around his mouth and going, "Whooooo!! Ahhhhh!!!" like a four year old trying to make his older sibling laugh.  
It worked, John laughed. He rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed next to Karkat. He looked over at him, biting his lip. "Karkat?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thank you." And John threw his arms around Karkat.  
He immediately regretted that, as it only made the bruises on his arm hurt. "Ow."  
"You okay?"  
"Well no, but yeah, I'm fine."  
Karkat rolled his eyes. Wow. He was really attractive. No wait where did that thought come from?  
"You complete idiot." Karkat laughed and wow his lips were nice. John found himself imagining how nice it'd be to be the person kissing those. Whoa John, what? No no no stop that right now. He's a guy. An attractive one, but still a guy.  
"Egbert?" Stop talking Karkat you're only making it worse.  
 _I will not have gay thoughts about Karkat Vantas I will not- ___Too fucking late. Nononono n o. Oh gosh. Yeah, he wanted to kiss this guy and snuggle the fuck out of him.  
"Hey, dude, you alright?" Karkat asked, placing a hand on John's shoulder.  
John jumped, bringing his knees up to his chin and curling up into the fetal position.   
"Oh my g- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" Karkat looked right at John's face.   
John really wished he hadn't done that. He was only making John like him more, which could be hazardous to both of their healths. Karkat looked almost like he was going to cry, even though he'd done nothing wrong.  
"Oh John... Hey, hey look at me. I'm gonna hug you and we're just going to pretend it's not awkward, okay?"  
John nodded. He really kind of wanted a hug anyway.  
Karkat wrapped his arms around his friend, obviously trying not to hurt him even more.  
John uncurled from the fetal position, wrapping his arms around Karkat's midriff, and burying his face in his shirt. Wow. Um. He smelled kind of nice. John was tempted to make a fool of himself and start crying. Maybe if he started crying he'd get more than just a hug. No. Bad John. No. Bad. This guy was your platonic bestie. You do not like him like that John. No.  
"I'm sorry." Karkat whispered.  
John leaned away from the hug, raising an eyebrow.  
"I'm sorry for the way they treated you. They belong in a prison cell."  
John shook his head. "I'm fine."  
"No, John, you're not, and I know if I was in your situation, you'd help me out too."  
Damn. John really wanted to kiss this guy.  
Apparently Karkat was thinking the same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to have a plot gaddamnit  
> fucking hell

**Author's Note:**

> Uh yeah  
> so like  
> this wasn't the best but idec at this point????
> 
> also
> 
> the chapter title is indeed a reference to When Harry Met Sally and I have no plans on watching that movie any time soon so yeah XD


End file.
